You Can't Always Control Life

One of the biggest things that I've been learning in 2014 is that I have a lot less control over the things that go on in my life than I'd like to think. It started with my last minute enrollment in classes in January and it just snowballed from there. I like to plan, and I have a really hard time adjusting my plans when they get messed up. Joe likes to say that I just like to write things down and erase them and then write them down again in my planner, but it's oddly comforting to me to have a to do list and schedule for my day and to be able to go through and cross things off when they're done. I also have a hard time remembering things that pop into my head throughout the day, so writing them down guarantees that I won't forget to get them done.

Over the last three weeks, I've been able to cross everything off of my to do list every single day, and I love it! Sure, my house is still a disaster and I have a million and one things left on the master to do list, but I'm slowly learning my limits and I only put a few things on my list so that it's doable and I'm not frustrated when I don't get the things I'd planned to do done because everything else took longer than I thought it would. And then this past weekend life showed up to remind me that even my most perfectly laid plans can be ruined by things that are out of my control. Between now and the first week of December, I have a lot going on at work and in school and I set some very specific goals for myself every day to make sure everything gets done without me ending up overwhelmed and sick from stress at the end. I was on a roll and feeling great, but then the stomach flu hit me and it hit me hard!

^^ My sick buddy and my drink ^^

I have never been so miserable and after my doctor told me that she'd been seeing people with the stomach flu who were sick for an average of 3-5 days lately, I was super discouraged. I tried to get homework done and a few things for work, but I wasn't very productive because I kept getting interrupted and because it's hard to focus when you don't feel good. I spent a lot of time with Gilmore Girls, Netflix Christmas movies and sleeping. Joe and I didn't really get to spend much time together because he can't afford to get sick working retail right before Thanksgiving week, so he avoided me as much as possible and I don't blame him.

Friday afternoon, it got worse and I couldn't keep any fluids down long enough to feel like I was staying hydrated. Joe was in the middle of hanging blinds, finishing something on his to do list but he dropped everything to take me to Instacare when I really felt like I needed to go. We spent three hours in the ER that night so that I could get some fluids and anti nausea medicine into my body and hopefully feel better. By the time we got home, he'd been awake for 21 hours and was exhausted, but he didn't complain once. I sat down on Saturday and completely re-planned my next two weeks so that I can still get everything done that needs to be done before I hit my Christmas break when life slows down and I get to enjoy the season. If something like this happened to me last year, I probably would have had a stressful breakdown because I didn't have the time to be sick, but I'm glad that this year I've learned to be flexible, prioritize, and take life as it comes!

^^ I feel super attractive... ^^

This weekend taught me that I need to make more time for my husband in my crazy schedule because I thought we were going to get a fun date night on Friday when he got home from work early, before the holiday crazy hours begin and we don't get to see each other much, but my out of control situation ruined that. And I've decided that on top of my school, work, wife, home owner responsibilities every day, I need to really prioritize some time to do something for me (read a book, sing at my piano, take a bath, watch a show without working on projects) so that I can relax and enjoy life instead of always focusing on the to do list that I've made so important in my life.