You may remember that I'm a little obsessed with The Five Love Languages. I think that Gary Chapman is a genius, and his book made so much sense to me! One thing that is mentioned time and time again is how important it is to know what your spouse's love language is because even when they might not be catering to your love language, they could be doing things that show their love for you in their own love language. Joe and I are lucky enough to have our love languages be really similar, mine are quality time and then physical touch and his are physical touch and then quality time. Even so, we still have to make an effort to pay attention to each other's love language because we appreciate different things. For example, physical touch is a huge thing for both of us but my husband appreciates a long back scratch and I really enjoy cuddling or long hugs. I hate scratching backs, I don't like the feel of the fingertips on shirt material or even skin and I have to make an effort to do that for him every once and a while. Joe gets bored and impatient when I try to give him a hug for longer than ten seconds, he disconnects and just stands there until I let go, but every once and a while, he'll make the effort to hang on until I'm happy.
One of my favorite "bloopers" from our engagements because he looks so agitated!
After reading The 5 Love Languages I also decided that while I may have two dominant languages, I appreciate all of them whether I'm the one showing love to someone else or someone is doing something for me. I love planning fun date nights or surprises for my husband, I'm always really proud of myself when I've made a sandwich for him to take for lunch if there aren't leftovers or if I did a chore that would normally be his responsibility, and I really enjoy being a creeper and telling him over and over again how much I love him, how attractive he is or randomly something that I admire about him. And vice versa, when Joe brings me a present, even if it's just some random household thing I've been needing, does a chore that I usually have to bug him about a million times first, or comments on something he loves about me, I can't help but smile.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled How I Know My Husband Loves Me. It was kind of a silly, lighthearted post about the things he suffered through while we were in San Francisco that no man would do unless they really loved the girl they were doing it for or with. The comments on that post were AWESOME!!! My dear friend Kaitlyn said something that has stuck with me over the past month. She said, "I think especially in blogland, it is easy to see other couples and marriages and forget how much our husbands do for us and how much they truly love us! You are bombarded by instagram pictures of flowers and romantic dates. Ryan IS super romantic and the mornings I wake up and he left me a note downstairs or called and left me a sweet voicemail - those are the things I love and cherish about him."
See, he really loves hugs!!
He might not bring me flowers, and he hates to plan dates, but Joe loves me in his own little ways, and I need to learn to better appreciate them. I'm going to pay more attention to the little things he does that show me he loves me. Let's see how it goes! You might see another post in the next month telling you what those things are!
What does love look like in your relationship?