Joe and I have set many goals together as a couple. We've been more successful with some goals than we have with others. When I look back on the things that we've achieved as a couple, I realize that they had one thing in common. The areas in life where we've seen the most success are the things that we value the most as a couple. If one or the other of us isn't completely invested in something that we set out to achieve, that goal fades away and is eventually forgotten about. The key to success with any goal is to make sure it's something that you care deeply about and are committed to making happen. The key to success with goals in your marriage is to make sure that both of you care about it and are committed to following through until you've completed what you set out to achieve!
Successful Goal Setting in Marriage
Dream about the future together.
I watched a video from Rachel Cruze a couple of months ago about the importance of knowing what the values are in your marriage, both as a couple and individuals. One of the things that Rachel suggests is to talk about your biggest dreams together. I suggest making a date out of it! Go out to dinner, chat over ice cream, go on a leisurely walk, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you are able to sit down and really talk as a couple. Don't be afraid to share your wildest dreams, even the ones that don't seem achievable!
What is one of your wildest dreams?
Your goals don't have to resemble anyone else's.
Goals should be as unique as the people who set them, just like the things that we value most are different from those around us. On the outside, your goal may seem similar to someone else's, but the reasons and the heart behind it will be different. The New Wifestyle's, Chelsea and her husband Ryan spent 2015 saving up money so that they could travel the world. A lot of couples might do this same thing, but there are very few who are doing it for the same reason that Ryan and Chelsea did. Those little goals all led up to them achieving one big one, to hold a world record for being the youngest couple to speak professionally on all seven continents. Find your why as a couple and let it guide your dreams and your goal setting!
What is your end goal and the why behind it?
You can achieve your goals, even if your spouse doesn't value it as highly.
Even though Joe and I share many goals in life, we also have individual goals that the other person might not necessarily care that much about. I was halfway through my first semester of college, now I'm starting my last semester and graduation is in sight. I've been in school for our entire relationship and Joe has supported and encouraged me the entire time, which is ironic, because he's not a big believer in getting a college education himself. The cost of tuition and lost quality time with me have both been a huge sacrifice for him. I know there are a lot of times when he wishes we weren't paying for school and had that money to put toward the purchase of a newer car, a bigger down payment on our house or even a vacation together. Because my degree is important to me and the education that I'm getting is something that I value highly, Joe values it as well. You can value your spouse's goals, even if it's not because you value your marriage, and when you have a goal that's important to you, they'll return the favor!
What goals do you have that your spouse supports and vice versa?
The goals that you set as a couple might be based on your shared values or just the fact that you care about what each values. No matter what, it's important to be on the same page. Sit down and hash out the details of what are both hoping to achieve. It might be your spouse's goal, but there will always be something that you can do to help them achieve it. Whether you've set goals for the new year already or not, sit down and go through them again. Are you both fully on board? If not, find the reason why and figure out what dreams your goals are helping you reach and find a way to get on the same page.
What things do you value most as a couple and how do those values affect the goals you set together?
Photography by Emily-Jane