Preparing for a Marriage

Wedding season is in full swing and there are a lot of couples out there planning their big day and preparing for their life together. Mary from Eat, Drink and Be Mary is one of those people planning and preparing for her marriage currently. Four years ago, I was just over a month away from my wedding. Today I'm reminiscing and joining Mary to share how planning for a wedding and a marriage affected our relationships.

You need to be sure that you're preparing for your marriage, not just your wedding.

The almost four months between the day we got engaged and the day we got married were stressful and challenged our relationship. I was working full time, going to school full time and I had mono. Joe was working full time and starting up his lawn care company at the same time. We had to work hard to stay focused on our relationship and not let the stress of planning our wedding day overshadow the importance of our marriage. 

We talked about things - Money, future plans, expectations, intimacy, etc. were all things that we discussed in the months leading up to the day of our wedding ceremony. All of the details of that day were fun to decide and put together, but our wedding was just the beginning. Marriage is a lot more than that one big day and it's important to be just as prepared for your life together as you are for the celebration of your union.

Read: Are You Talking About the Important Things?

We set boundaries - Going into our life together, I knew we needed boundaries. We set boundaries for family time, date night, the time we'd spend apart, work commitments, etc. Life can be busy and it can be hard to say no to something that seems important or like a lot of fun. but our marriage has to come first and we knew that if we didn't have those boundaries in place going into it, our relationship would start to take a backseat to those other, not as important things.

We had fun together - Those few months of wedding planning were rough, and they definitely challenged our relationship, but we made time for fun to keep the stress from getting to us. We took walks together, went on dates, talked about silly nonsense and dreamed big for our future. Laughing and having a good time together kept us happy and saved our relationship from the affects of too much stress.

Read: 10 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse in 10 Minutes or Less

Planning for our wedding has been so much fun.  I know a lot of people say they don't enjoy the planning process and are too stressed to have fun..but NOT this girl.  I am loving it (get back to me a week before the wedding though...) and am soaking in this once-in-a-lifetime experience.  

But all this wedding planning, isn't just fun and games...it's the step between our lives now and our next adventure...

starting our lives together.  I may talk about the wedding a lot on here, but Thomas and I focus a lot on preparing for our marriage.  And in preparing for our wedding and marriage, our relationship has been affected...for the better.  

How planning for a wedding can affect your relationship.

I've decided to plan our wedding in less than 8 months, totally do-able, with the help of to-do lists, my supportive family & friends and Thomas.  My sweet, sweet Thomas.  If I thought I loved him before we got engaged, well I didn't know the half of it. 

head over heels. During this wedding planning process I've fallen more in love with Thomas than I thought before.  And I have a feeling once we're married he'll make me fall head over heels in love everyday over and over.  Thomas has repeatedly worked with me to make wedding decisions (even if his only answer is "whatever you want") & willingly helped with wedding DIYs.  Resulting my heart skipping beats and myself falling head over heels.

my shoulder to lean on.

Twice during this wedding planning I've about lost it.  Yep, that's it I got stressed.  Once, when I thought Thomas and I wouldn't get to get married on the day we wanted (long story short). And again, when I just felt like I couldn't get answers to all my questions.  Thomas' answer, "it'll all work out" and "don't say the 's' word".  Oh he kills me, the best supporter there is y'all. Knowing I have him to lean on for the rest of my life is the best feeling there is.  

when wedding planning gets stressful and things start to ruin your day...you just remind yourself it's the marriage not the wedding ❤️💍 #itsbeenaweek
A photo posted by Mary (@maryjean_xo) on Dec 15, 2014 at 2:30pm PST

relying on God.

We've already begun to rely on God to take control of our relationship.  Heading into marriage I know it won't be all rainbows and butterflies, and it's best if we keep Christ at the center.  

Praying for my future husband & our future marriage not only gets me more excited for August but also helps me make sure I'm doing my best at being their for Thomas, loving him & loving God first.  I can't think of anything more important.  

don't miss out on my wedding posts: here

Eat Drink and Be Mary