Even though there isn't scientific research behind them, I believe that use of The 5 Love Languages can be extremely powerful in any relationship, but especially in a marriage. Knowing how to speak your spouse's love language can help you make a conscious effort to show them that you care. However, there's one important thing about speaking your spouse's love language that I think people tend to forget.
Nothing makes me happier than coming home at the end of a long day to find a bunch of house projects that I'd planned to work on are already done. This week, Joe has been out of cell service and not having that contact with him has been hard for me because quality time, especially in the form of conversation, is one of my favorite things. When I got phone call from a random phone number yesterday and heard his voice on the other end of the line, it meant so much to me! He said that when he found out they could use the phones at the scout desk up there, he knew that he should probably call me. I was giddy about that simple five minute phone call all day long!
Although I appreciate it immensely when Joe speaks my love language, I can't always expect Joe to speak my love language. It's important for me to recognize when he's letting me know that he cares in his own language.
Joe and I have similar love languages, but the way that we speak them is different. We both appreciate Quality Time, but I really appreciate quality conversation the most while Joe is content hanging out on a fun date or even just watching TV without a whole lot of conversation. Sometimes he gets frustrated when I'm working on homework or other projects while we watch a movie together and I get frustrated when he doesn't feel like we have a lot to talk about and falls asleep instead.
When you take The 5 Love Languages quiz with your spouse, take note of their top two love languages. Not just so that you can show you love them in a way that they will easily understand, but so that you will notice those times when they are trying to show that they love you, even if they aren't doing it in a way that you quickly recognize. It's easy to forget that your spouse is still speaking in their own language while they are making efforts to speak your language as well.