How Week One of Parenthood Affected Our Marriage

On Saturday night/Sunday morning, while I was up late feeding our baby boy, I was thinking back to the week before, when I was laying in the hospital getting ready to deliver the little guy. Why did a week have to go by so fast? Does anyone know how I can slow time down so that he stays teeny forever? Then again, I'm really looking forward to all of the stages of life, so can it just move slow enough that I can savor each precious moment? We've been home with Bensen for just over a week now and having a baby in our lives has already started to affect our marriage relationship. I know it will just keep doing so, but I wanted to share some takeaways from our first week of parenting.

marriage and parenting

How Becoming Parents Affected Our Marriage

The Good

Spending Time Together

Joe decided to cut back on his work hours for the first few weeks after the baby was born to spend time with us and help me out a little bit. We've gotten some house projects done, gone on walks together, eaten dinner together every night and watched a lot of movies and Netflix. I love having him around for quality time, Howie loves having someone home with him all the time and I've loved watching Joe and Bensen bond over the past week. I'm soaking up all of the time we get together now because when I go back to work, our schedules are going to be even more opposite than before and we won't get to see each other nearly as often as I would like.

Laughing Together

We have laughed so much over the past week, and I'm sure the majority of the things we're laughing about are only funny because we're so tired, but that's ok. Bensen does funny things, Howie does funny things, Joe and I do and say really silly or dumb things. We are constantly laughing together and we use laughter to lighten the mood when there is tension. 

Learning Together

Being a parent is a new experience for both of us. There's nobody that I'd rather learn to be a parent with than Joe. It's been an entertaining, frustrating, tiring, and rewarding week of learning. We've had to find out what works best for our baby boy and are constantly making adjustments to what we assumed we'd do. Marriage is for learning and this parenting role that we've taken on will give us constant learning opportunities together.

first baby and marriage

The Not As Good

Sleep Deprived Together

I was reading an article on how you can improve your marriage through sleep the other day and it couldn't have come at a better time. We're working hard to switch Bensen's nights and days because right now he wants to wake up every two hours at night and sleep four to five hours during the day. We are waking him up hourly during the day to eat, keeping him in the light and hoping that he'll start sleeping in longer increments at night. Both of us are tired and since I've been trying to finish up my semester of school, I don't get time for a nap during the day and my brain is just as exhausted as my body.

By the end of each day, we're both tired and a little grumpy and if we're not laughing at ridiculous things together, we're broth trying hard not to let our tiredness get the best of us and create tension between us that doesn't need to be there. Hopefully Bensen's schedule will switch soon so that we can get more sleep at night, but in the meantime, we've been taking turns getting up to feed him and we try to get at least one nap in each afternoon. I'm also trying to be more aware of when I'm tired so that I can hopefully have more patience and not snap at Joe as easily.

Adjusting Our Schedules Together

Having a baby around definitely requires a little bit of a change in both of our schedules, even right now while neither of us are working. I shower while Joe is around and he does the same. It takes us a bit longer to get anywhere and we have to help each other out more and really plan ahead if we want or need to go out. We are both more aware of what the other person has going on or needs to get done during the day because we rely on each other to take care of the baby so that we can get our own stuff done. This has been especially important while I try to finish up my semester and Joe gets caught up with his lawn care business for the year.

new mom

^^ Bensen was annoyed at me because I kept kissing his face, so I decided to be really obnoxious and take pictures of it ^^

We love being parents and love our baby boy! I can't wait to see what the rest of his life and adding more kids to our family later on brings to our lives!

Do you have kids? How did the first week of parenthood change your marriage?