Last week in the Freshly Married Wives Community, Amy of Freshly Married asked a question that I've been thinking about ever since. Her question was, "What is something you and your spouse try to do together when it feels like you don't have common interests anymore?" Throughout life, interests change, and the different stages that you go through come with challenges that can sometimes make your shared hobbies difficult to continue. Our current stage of life for example, makes it really difficult to go on long late night walks during the warmer months like we did for the first four years of our relationship.
You may sit down one day and realize that all of those interests that you once shared have gone out the window. If you feel like you "Netflix and chill" too often, and maybe even every night, the two of you might want to start seeking some new hobbies together. I'm a big fan of Netflix binges, so I'm not knocking that at all, but I am in favor of having a few different activities that you enjoy doing together as a couple. Throughout the course of your life, you find new hobbies and get rid of others, the same could be said about your marriage. As you shift into new stages of life, some of your shared activities may become interests and other things may become more interesting.
If you're looking for some ideas of hobbies that you could enjoy together, you're in luck because I have some for you! Sit down with your spouse this week and pick something new to try. Come back any time you need a new idea!
Have you ever thought about joining a bowling league? If you enjoy bowling together, make it a regular part of your lives together. Purchase your own shoes, get a ball of your own and find a league near you. Work together to perfect your game and start a tally to see who can bowl the most strikes in a certain time frame. Maybe the person who bowls the most strikes in a night gets to pick where you go for dinner, or the highest scorer within a few months or a year gets to plan their dream vacation for the two of you to go on together.
I was never much of a fan of hiking growing up, but I think that I could really start to like it if we went on hikes during cooler seasons or times of day. It's a great way to exercise, see more of the area that you live in and see some spectacular views! Our county has a pamphlet that they distribute listing every trail in the area, where they are located (with a map), their features and their difficulty. You could make a date once a month to check out a new trail and another date each month to hike one of your favorites.
My parents share a love of gardening, and consequently, their yard looks amazing all year round. My dad's favorite day of the year is the one when the seed catalog comes in the mail. They have bushes, trees, flowers, fruit trees/plants, and a vegetable garden. I'm in awe at the variety of things that are in bloom every time we go to their house.
Sit down and research plants together, look at the things that are in bloom around your community, pick out your favorites and learn how to grow them successfully. Spend time in your yard together every day watering, weeding, and enjoying the spoils of your harvest!
Random Acts of Kindness
I've seen so many fun date nights focused on serving those in the community around you. This could be a great tradition to start in your family. Your acts of kindness could be as simple as paying for the person behind you in a drive thru, taking dinner to a sick neighbor, or sending a card to a friend. You could go above and beyond by offering to clean up a neighbor or loved one's yard, provide Christmas for a family, or one of my favorites--this Sharing Soup idea from A Bountiful Kitchen.
Similar to serving those around you, but on a more regular basis and at one or two locations. Some ideas for places to volunteer: animal shelter, through your church program, with a youth organization, at a senior living center, local hospitals, food banks, etc.
Is there a type of dance that you've been wanting to learn? Look for a community class near you or a dance studio that hosts events for couples to learn different dances. You could also find YouTube videos and learn on your own at home. Practice on a weekly basis, then find a dance that you can get dressed up for and attend to "show off" your skills.
If you are experienced dancers, find somewhere near you where you can go to dance together once a week or a few times a month. I have friends who would regularly attend a club near us that had Swing Dancing, Country Swing and Line Dancing nights.
When we got married, I was a season ticket holder at the community theater, so I bought my husband tickets as well and we remained season ticket holders for a couple more years. A year or two into our marriage, we got season tickets to a theater that puts on musical parodies, and we remained season ticket holders there for a few years as well. Becoming season ticket holders at a local theater is something that I'd suggest to anyone who asked me.
Our current stage of life makes it difficult to attend all of our shows, and we missed quite a few due to my classes, illness related to pregnancy or one of our kids being sick. I was sad to give up being season ticket holders, but we still make a goal to see two or three shows together a year and we love it!
This is one hobby that I don't know much about because we are not sports people in our house. I have seen couples have a lot of fun tailgating and attending all of the games for their local team. I've also seen some people post on social media that they put on their jerseys and support their favorite teams from the couch every week. Maybe you and your spouse would rather play together and join a coed team for softball, flag football, indoor soccer or another sport that interests you.
All of the mom & pop or hole in the wall restaurants seem to have the best food, but are not the first thing that comes to mind when we are trying to decide where we want to go to eat. If you enjoy good food from non-franchised restaurants, this could be a new hobby for you. Sit down together and create a "bucket list" of restaurants that you want to try. Break them down by types of food so when you are craving something specific, you can quickly locate a restaurant from your list that you could try.
We have put together our own "foodie bucket list" as part of a new website that I started. It's been a fun way to branch out in our date nights and explore new places that we never knew existed or had never thought to try. A suggestion I have, from watching a few of my foodie friends, is to each order different menu items and something unique that you wouldn't usually get at any other restaurants. This will allow you to experience more of what the restaurant has to offer and you will be branching out and discovering new favorites that you might not have previously known existed.
Read: How to Create Your Own Date Night Bucket List
I know some couples who have their own book club! Some will read a chapter of their book together every night while others read separately. I've even heard of one couple reading a physical copy of the book while the other listens to the audio book. This is how Joe and I would read books if we were to start our own book club. After both parties have finished reading, plan a date night to discuss the book over dinner or dessert.
My friend Camille of Friday We're In Love once told me that she and her husband share a love of running. If I remember right, they used to train together and run races. Now that they have a little one, she's shared that they trade off training for races. They support each other by standing on the sidelines of the race, cheering the other spouse on. I love that they've found a way to keep up their hobby, even if they aren't able to share it in the same way they've been used to.
Everyone needs to eat, and I'm willing to bet that one of you spends a lot of time in the kitchen cooking the meals for the family to eat. Why not share that task and cook together. Turn on some music, divide up the tasks or tackle separate parts of the meal and have some fun making your food together. Find a blog or a cookbook that contains recipes that appeal to both of you and cook your way through it together.
Home Improvement Projects
This is our current hobby; finishing up all of the projects in our house. We have cosmetic updates we still want to do, some that are also needed to cut the cost of our electricity/gas. We're also still working to get our basement unpacked and organized and every room of the house decorated. Updating your house and adding decor that shows off who you are as a family is a great thing to do together and will help turn your house into a home.
Whatever you choose to do for your shared hobby, make sure that it is something you'll both enjoy and an activity that will help strengthen your relationship and create new memories. If you're missing an old hobby that you used to enjoy together, find a way to make it a reality in your current stage of life.
What hobbies do you and your spouse enjoy?