H is for Healthy

Over the weekend, a few of our neighbors came over to introduce themselves and say hi. When I told them what my major is and a little bit about what I hope to do with my education when I'm finished, one of them jokingly said, "You're going to have a perfect marriage, right?!" We all laughed about it, but it's something that I've been thinking about since we had the conversation.

abc's of marriage - h - healthy


[hel-thee] adjective
1.  possessing or enjoying good health or a sound and vigorous mentality
2.  prosperous or sound

No matter how long I've been married, how much I've studied marriage or how many posts I've written about marriage, you will NEVER hear me say that my marriage is perfect. There are so many things that I could do to be a better wife, we don't have a fairy tale romance and we definitely have our own set of problems and things that we need to work on in our relationship. You will however hear me say that our marriage is a healthy one.

Our Healthy Marriage Includes: 

I remember hearing a long time ago that every couple argues and that if you're agreeing on everything all the time, somebody isn't being honest and that's not healthy. Joe and I are both stubborn, so disagreements happen frequently in our home. (Maybe that part isn't super healthy... but they're not serious arguments, so I don't worry too much about it!) We fight over the stupidest things: where the furniture should go (convenience vs. aesthetics), whose turn it is to do the dishes, what movie to watch, etc. But we always work through our disagreements and most of the time can come to an agreement of some kind and we usually laugh about it later.

Time Apart
We like to spend time together, (After all, quality time is one of our love languages.) but we also realize that we need time for ourselves and that it's ok to not be home together every single night. Whether we choose to be out and about with other people or just in separate rooms doing our own thing, we respect each other's need for space and if we're feeling neglected, we're sure to speak up! The time that we don't spend together makes the time that we are together more special. And to be honest, if I was with Joe 24/7, only doing the things that we like to do together, I'd probably go crazy and find him irritating.

Total Honesty
We don't hold anything back and there are no secrets between us. Not only does this help create a lot of trust in our relationship, but I know that Joe will give me his honest opinion on something when I really need it. Every purchase we make, annoyance we have, and stupid thing each other does is talked about. I love knowing that when Joe thinks something I'm doing is making me look bad, he'll let me know so that I can stop and save my reputation with other people. Because no matter how ridiculous I am, at the end of the day, Joe loves me and won't hold things against me like other people might.

Our healthy marriage also includes hand holding, date nights, hugs, laughter and love.

What 'H' word would you use to describe your relationship?