One of the biggest things that I try to stress when I talk about making your marriage a priority is that it isn’t about lots of grand gestures, it’s about intentionally connecting with each other through small ways on a daily basis. It’s those little efforts that will build up to make a big difference in the health of your marriage. You can easily do something every day to show your spouse that you see them and that they are important to you.
I’ll admit that I don’t always make those daily efforts myself. There are some days when we crawl into bed and I realize, after my husband starts snoring next to me, that although we talked and spent time under the same roof, we weren’t every truly connected during the day. So I’m writing this post as much for me as I am for all of you! I wanted to consciously think about those little things that I can do each and every day, without any extreme amount of effort, to make my marriage relationship a priority. All of these are easy and simple and something that you can start doing today!
Four Simple Ways to Connect with Your Spouse Daily
Send a Text
I send plenty of texts to my husband throughout the day, but not all of them are connecting. A lot of them are sharing things that our kids have done or that we got the insurance check for some house repairs in the mail finally, or other “business” parts of life. We don’t text like we did back when we were dating, and although our schedules don’t allow for that much texting these days, we could still throw some flirting and connecting into our text conversations throughout the day.
If you know your spouse has an important meeting, a test or something else they’ve been working toward, text them good luck before and check in after it’s over to see how it went. When you hear your song on the radio or come across something else that makes you think about your spouse, let them know that you’re thinking about them. Ask them out on a date or to join you for a mini date after the kids are in bed later that night. Find little things you can send to your spouse that you know they would love!
Put Your Phone Away
In our culture, we’re so attached to our phones these days that they’re practically a part of our person. Without even realizing it, you could be spending so much time looking at your phone that you’re not fully present and able to connect with your spouse. It’s important to take time every sing day to disconnect from your devices and connect with the ones that you love.
Some couples have a no technology in the bedroom rule, and it seems to work really well for those who do. I know other people who have a full day each week that they disconnect from all social media. I’ve also seen people disconnect during certain hours throughout the day when they know that they want to be more present with their kids and their significant other. I really like to leave my phone in the room that we’re not in, where I can still answer it if needed, but it’s not right near me where I’m tempted to look at it or unconsciously pick it up and scroll more often than necessary. I also have a smart watch, so I can glance down and see if it’s a phone call that needs to be answered or a text that needs my attention.
Touch Each Other
This might sound like an obvious and easy one, but the other day I paid close attention to how much we were touching throughout the day and how many of those touches were meaningful and I was kind of disappointed with what I noticed. Research has shown that we need at least eight meaningful touches every single day. You can read the post linked below for more on that. Simply touching as you go throughout your daily routines is an easy and enjoyable way to connect with your spouse.
It’s really easy to put your hand on your spouse’s back as you pass each other in the kitchen, grab their butt when you pass them in the hall, steal a kiss every once in a while, play footsie under the dinner table and hold hands while you read bedtime stories to the kids. Look for little things that you can do, or click the link to the post below for more ideas.
Go to Bed at the Same Time
For our entire marriage, we’ve always tried to go to bed at the same time. There have been exceptions for big homework projects, but for the most part, we’ve been able to stick to our habit. We don’t fall asleep at the same time as often as we go to bed at the same time, but sharing our bedtime routine has made a big difference in our marriage. Being in bed together allows us to talk about our day, cuddle and improve our intimacy. If your schedules allow it, or if you can shift your priorities, nighttime is a great time to connect with your spouse and strengthen your marriage!
These are just four tips and they are simple, but they can have a huge impact on your marriage relationship. If you’ll take these and apply them to your every day routine, you’ll find yourselves more connected at the end of the day, without having made any huge effort. And then from there you can work on daily rituals, regular date nights and weekend getaways, or whatever your marriage needs!