Your Love Languages Can Shift

Joe and I took The Five Love Languages test before we even started dating, somehow I convinced him it would be fun. My top two languages were Quality Time and Physical Touch, Joe's were Physical Touch and Quality Time. I was excited about our results because I thought it meant understanding each other would be easy. I quickly learned that wasn't exactly true, but we'll save that story for another time.

This past weekend I helped out with a date night class as part of a homework assignment, and the topic was the Five Love Languages. There were interactive activities to go along with each love language and it was a lot of fun. After class, I decided to take the test again because of some things that were talked about that night. Like I mentioned yesterday, marriage changes the things that matter to you and your languages might change as well.

This time around I scored an 8 on both quality time and acts of service and physical touch came in right behind with a 7. I think the first time I took the quiz, acts of service was fourth, so it jumped a couple of spots on my list. Something was said during the class on Friday that really made me think. One of the women whose top love language was acts of service raised her hand and said that she appreciates it when her husband does the things that are normally her job to do when she is too busy to get them done. That's when I started thinking my love languages may be different now than they were before.

Earlier this month, I talked about how Joe has been a really good, one day a week, stay at home husband. He has been extremely supportive while I've been doing night classes and it means so much to me. During the acts of service discussion, the other volunteer and I were talking about it and I told her that I was secretly hoping I'd go home to clean dishes because our sink had been filling up all week. She told me that she had let go of those expectations a long time ago because it never happened. When I got home later that night, I smiled because guess whose husband washed the dishes before sitting down to do his own thing? MINE!!! And I didn't even have to tell him I wanted it done.

I feel like school, this semester in particular, contributed to the change. Every time I've come home from class or somewhere else, and Joe has done something around the house that's on my to do list or that I wish I had more time for, it makes me so happy! I remember one of the first weeks of school, I got home from work on a Wednesday afternoon, ready to spend the afternoon cleaning, and Joe had already finished it all. There were a few things left that I could help with, but it took a lot of my stress away and gave me time to focus on some other things that I needed to do.

If I weren't married, acts of service wouldn't be such a big deal to me, but with everything I have going on in life, I'm fine moving it to my top two languages. And I'm glad that Joe recognizes it (whether he's doing it on purpose or not) and does so much to fill my love tank in that area. It's making my life easier and is turning me into a much happier and carefree wife (I hope)!

Do you think your love languages have shifted? Why or why not?