Last week, I shared why lists, even jokingly, of the things that you would divorce your spouse for, don't sit right with me. Throughout the week, as I was thinking about the topic more and why divorce is not an option in my marriage, it led to me thinking about all of the reasons why I would never divorce Joe. Some of my reasons are silly, some of them are serious, and some aren't listed here, but they are all things that would heavily influence my decision to not consider divorce. I'm calling it my anti-divorce list and I plan on typing it up and putting it someplace where I will be able to refer to it often, but especially when we're in the middle of a disagreement or going through something tough that makes me wonder why I decided that being an adult sounded like fun in the first place.
I Hated the Dating Game
Does anybody really love it? Trying to find someone who feels the way that you do about them at the exact same time, who is looking for the same thing from a relationship is no easy feat. And if you make the mistake of watching He's Just Not That Into You while you're in the dating phase of your life, the game becomes that much more frustrating because you realize that none of the guys you are into are into you in the same way. I found and married a man who didn't play the game, he was straightforward about his intentions and didn't play around from the very beginning, and that was refreshing. I don't ever want to be in that stage of my life again, as fun as some aspects of it were, and I'll avoid divorce just to avoid dating.
My Husband is my Best Friend
If I lost Joe for any reason, not only would I be losing my husband, I'd be losing my best friend. That's a double whammy. We've been together for over four years, and I plan on us being together for millions more. Breaking up with someone after a few months of dating in high school, when our friendship didn't run nearly as deep as mine and Joe's does, was always hard because I lost my person to talk to and my shoulder to cry on at the same time. Losing my marriage relationship/friendship would be a pain that I can't even begin to imagine. I don't want to lose my very best friend, so I can't get divorced and lose my husband.
We Own a House Together
Minor detail, but I think about all of the things that we've purchased together, the home that we're creating and all of the things that we plan to purchase in the future and I just don't want to deal with the separation of all of that. Sure, one of us could keep the house, but there would be so many married couple memories in it, and dividing our physical possessions seems like more work than it's worth. I will keep my marriage in a place where everything can be referred to as "ours" so that we don't have to start thinking about the "his" and "hers" separations.
We Have a Kid Together
He's not here yet, but he's well on his way, and now that he's in the picture, divorce would be a much bigger deal. I'm not one for the "staying married for the kids" way of doing things, especially if that's the only reason that you are still together. But for me, having kids together is an extremely compelling reason to do my best to fix any problems that we have in our marriage and make it stronger than ever, rather than letting those things divide us and our relationship slip away. I won't stay married for the kids, but I will work on my marriage and make it the best it can be for the kids. My family in general is a top priority, my marriage comes first and the kids come second, I will do everything I can to keep those relationships in tip top shape!
He Knows all of my Secrets
It's one of those, "if I told you then I'd have to kill you" type situations. Nobody knows me better than Joe does, and it doesn't bother me that he knows the things he does because he's my confidant and I know that none of it makes him think any less of me. But I think of someone who isn't my very best friend and the most important person in my life knowing every detail about my life, things that nobody but him have ever known, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I don't know what more to say about that, maybe I'm completely crazy with this point, but I'm hoping some of you will understand my way of thinking on it.
All of my Life Dreams Involve Him
We've planned future vacations, what we want our dream house to look like, how we want to handle our finances, etc. together. Everything that I plan on doing in my life, even the things that don't directly involve Joe, hinge on something that we have planned for and dreamed up together. There is nobody that I'd rather plan for the future with than Joe. We have similar goals and value the same things in life. Whatever thing we choose to tackle, whether individually or as a couple, we both work toward together. Joe supports my schooling and encourages me to complete my degree even though it's cost a lot of money and college isn't his thing. From the moment I met Joe, I knew that I would be supporting his entrepreneurial endeavors and I've done everything that I can to help him make his companies successful and the best that they can be. We've conquered debt together, saved for/bought/renovated a home and more. Over the past four and a half years, I have created a life with this man and I don't want to complete that journey with anyone other than him.
I Love Him More Than Anything in the World
Do I really need another reason? I don't think so.
What reasons would you include on your anti-divorce list?