Over the summer, I have been reading the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I started it, I thought it was for people who have issues with 'Everybody Loves Raymond' type families or friends and that's not a problem that I have. But after the first paragraph or two, I knew this book was for me, and that setting boundaries could help me better make my marriage a priority.
I have a lot going on in my life being a wife, taking classes online, working a full time job, spending my Saturdays in the salon, serving in my church callings, etc. Like I've mentioned before, everything seems important to me and it's hard for me to decide if a task is high priority or something that I don't need to stress over. I have a problem setting boundaries in my life and that causes me a lot of stress and doesn't leave time or energy to make my marriage a top priority.
As I've been reading this book, I started making a list of things that aren't high priority. I split a page in my notebook into sections and headed each one with a role that I have in my life (student, wife, stylist, etc). Under each one, I've started listing things that I can do to set boundaries and not stretch myself too thin. The goal is to have more time and energy to spend with Joe, and not be grumpy and tired the entire time I'm doing so!
I have already started to see a difference and I love having more time to talk and do fun things together! Take yesterday for example; usually our Sunday nights are spent with family, we head to my parent's house for dinner a few hours after church and then end our night hanging out with my in laws. It is a lot of fun and I love our family time, but Sundays are the only real day that Joe and I have together each week. I decided, on my list of boundaries, under the family heading, that we needed to take one Sunday a month to stay home and hang out by ourselves. We were able to fix a big mid afternoon meal and eat together, we watched a movie and napped in our bed, played with the puppy, and got a few other things done. I think it will be nice to have that time to focus on our relationship, and hopefully it will help us not feel as burnt out all the time.
Our Sunday feast today
What boundaries could you set that would make more time for your marriage?