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My goal for this month has been to have more intentional conversation with Joe. I'm not sure that we're doing as well as we could be, so I may continue this goal into next month, especially with school starting and my schedule becoming even more restricted when it comes to free time. Conversation is important for a marriage and I made it my goal to be more intentional with it in my marriage because I noticed that our new family addition and the consequent change in our work schedules was making the quality time that we spent talking together more and more scarce. And often times, when we had time to talk, we were both so exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally that our conversations aren't everything they could be or they become emotionally charged in a negative way for no reason other than that we are tired.
Looking back on our relationship, I can see that the times when we've had the best conversation have been on late night walks, right before bed, or when we are having a meal together. I went in search of some resources that could be used in those three situations to help get the ball rolling if we are too tired to come up with something good on our own. The resources below are some of my favorites, and I wanted to share them with all of you so that you can get some good use out of them as well!
With my goal to have more meals around the kitchen table together, I think these conversation starters for family dinner time from The Dating Divas are perfect. We don't often get to eat together during the week, but we can maximize the meal time that we have together on the weekends. A lot of times, we end up watching an episode of our current Netflix addiction instead of talking because of the reasons that I mentioned above. I haven't printed these yet, but when I do, I plan on finding a jar similar to the one shown in the post and making them a permanent centerpiece for our kitchen table. They will also be great as Bensen gets older and more kids come along!
Before bed, if we can't get a decent conversation going beyond "how was your day?", Joe tends to drift off to sleep. I have this jar of Pillow Talk Conversation Starters on my nightstand and any time we are struggling for something to talk about, I grab a question or two from the jar. Late night conversations usually end up being the most entertaining because Joe always has something witty to say and I usually burst into uncontrollable laughter. We haven't used this resource often, but as part of my goal to be more intentional, I've tried to use it more this month.
There are a lot of great books out there that you can keep around as well. We got a couple before our wedding and went through them while we were on a road trip together. I plan on taking one with us on our romantic getaway in a month and I love making these a part of date night! The two that I always recommend to people are 101 Conversation Starters for Couples and 101 More Conversation Starters for Couples by Gary Chapman. I just purchased Connect Like You Did When You First Met by Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage and I'm excited to start using it because I've heard that it's an amazing resource! I'll let you know how I like it after we've used it.
Are there any great resources that you've found to be helpful for creating conversation in your marriage? I'd love to hear about them so I can try them out!