Last Mother's Day I had a really hard time, having just gone through a miscarriage, I was longing for a baby of my own. This Mother's Day I am aware that there are a lot of women out there with heavy hearts and tears in their eyes. The stage of marriage of wanting to be parents and not being able to, whether because of timing, miscarriages or infertility, is a tough stage to be in but it's a stage that can bring you closer as a couple and really strengthen your relationship if you'll let it. It's important that you still strive to make your marriage a priority just like you did when you were newlyweds.
There are a handful of bloggers who inspire me with every post that they write and one of those bloggers is Brandy from A Sweet Aroma. She shares posts from her heart about the journey with infertility that she and her husband are going through and I'm excited to have teamed up with her for this post today!
Brandy: Keep Intimacy Intimate!
If you're married and you're trying to have a baby, then you probably already know there is a specific time of month this is most likely to happen. Instead of scheduling out that time, embrace it! It's great reason to be even more intimate and add some fun. Running to your husband to say, "Let's go! I'm ovulating!" is not that romantic.
Amberly: Don't Stop Making Plans
When you're making plans for future months while you're hoping for a baby, it could be easy to put things on hold in case your pregnant or have a baby by then. Don't be afraid to plan trips, date nights, or other fun things for your marriage despite the chance that you could possibly have a child by then. You'll be glad that you made plans when that time comes. Plan that trip to Disneyland, buy tickets to the musical making a stop in your area on its tour across the country or put together a group camping trip with all of your friends.
Brandy: Dream Together... and Grieve Together
It's so fun to dream together about your future children as you wonder what they'll look like, how they'll act, and when they'll come. But the stress of infertility and/or miscarriage can often create distance. Don't hide those sad, hard emotions from each other. Cry together, pray together, dream together, just as you dream together.
Amberly: Create a Bucket List and Cross Things Off
Having things to accomplish is a great way to spend more time together and take your mind off the stress of waiting for a positive pregnancy test every month. Last year at this time we bought and renovated a house. Those projects and having something to work on every night really helped me forget my frustration and sadness and made the months between when I miscarried and when I got pregnant again pass by a little faster. Your bucket list could include house projects, date nights, restaurants to try, and so much more. Come up with things that you've been wanting to do and that might be more difficult when you have a baby around.
Brandy: Celebrate the Liberty
Every month we always, always hope we're pregnant. However, we also remember the fun, enjoyable moments that come out of it just being the two of us. (Date nights, theme parks, anniversary cruises). I try to appreciate the moments in our marriage that would be different if I were pregnant or snuggling an infant. I would obviously rather have a baby than a roller coaster ride or an anniversary cruise but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate them.
Don't miss Brandy's post on her own blog today. She's writing to all of the mommas-in-waiting this Mother's Day. Her thoughts are always inspiring to me and a lot of her posts move me to tears. This one promises to be just as great!
Whether you're waiting to have kids, mourning a miscarriage or going through the trial of infertility, how are you being sure to make your marriage a priority through this stage of your life?