3 Tips for More Intentional Conversation in Your Marriage

Over the past couple of months, I've noticed that there has been a day or two, or even a few days at a time when Joe and I haven't had a good, quality conversation with each other. We talk about the baby's day; his feedings, his diaper changes, funny things he's done. We talk about the dog; the amount of attention he's gotten, if he got a walk or not, how much he had to eat. We talk about our schedules; when we need to get someone to watch the baby, when we can expect each other home, when we'll be home to eat together or have time for date night. But we don't talk about us, our relationship, and how we're feeling about life as much as we used to. This month, I'm determined to change that.

Three tips to help have more intentional conversation in your marriage

Set Aside Time to Talk Every Day

After Joe gets home from work every day and Bensen is in bed for the night, we need to make more of an effort to sit down together and talk about our day. Because Joe eats dinner after me, I'm usually running around the house working on my own personal projects when I could be sitting with him while he eats instead. We could also sit down with our traditional bowl of ice cream and talk instead of watching an episode or two of our favorite show on Netflix before we go to bed. Setting aside time to talk is a huge key to the success of this goal.

Have Things to Talk About

Joe and I text each other about the little things going on in our life during the day. Sometimes I'll send him a text saying, "Remind me to tell you about such and such tonight" if something happens that is too big or complicated to explain in a simple text. Every so often, something happens that is so big, we call each other right then because we don't want to wait until we see each other to share the big news! This month, I plan to create a daily note in my phone with things that happen or I think about throughout the day so I don't forget them when I sit down to talk to Joe every night. I also want to try to save some of the things I'd usually text him about throughout the day for those conversations that we have at night. If we run out of things to talk about or have shared everything with each other by the time we sit down at night, I'll pull out a question or two from this list that I found last week.

Intentional Conversation

Don't Forget to Laugh

A lot of times, I associate meaningful conversation with seriousness, but some of our best conversations are the ones that are ridiculous and filled with laughter! We learn more about each other, have fun, and create memories. Our best inside jokes come from the not so serious conversations and we find ourselves laughing about them later on. One of my favorite things about Joe is his ability to make me laugh and the way he can find humor in the most stressful situations. Without laughter, our relationship wouldn't be what it is, and I try to incorporate it into our conversations.

Joe will be gone a lot this month because of his church calling to serve in the boy scouts program, and I start school at the end of the month so I know that this goal will take a conscious effort, but I also know that those things make this goal the perfect one for our marriage this month! I can't wait to reconnect with Joe through conversation.

Check out this post I wrote for Life Could Be a Dream a year ago, sharing the anatomy of a quality conversation!

Laugh together

Report on Last Month's Goal: I set a personal goal last month to be more intentional with my thought toward Joe. I worked really hard to think more about his feelings, needs and situation before I said anything or acted this past month. There were a lot of things that I could have done better, but I feel like I did pretty well. I will be continuing that goal in addition to this one this month.

What goals have you set for your marriage this month? Write a post about them on your blog or Instagram and link them up below!

Marriage & Relationship Goals