I Choose Marriage

According to recent census reports, the national divorce rate has been steadily declining since the year 2000. When we were discussing this in class last semester, everyone agreed that these statistics were encouraging, until we looked at a graph showing the number of adults who are currently married compared to past years. Couples can't really get divorced if they never get married in the first place so it only makes sense that if the marriage rate is down, the divorce rate would be as well. To be honest, these statistics make me sad! I realize that there are a lot of reasons people choose not to get married, but for me whether or not I wanted to be married wasn't even a question.

Last Friday, I went on a little Twitter rant, maybe you saw it and maybe you didn't. One of my coworkers got married on Saturday so all day Friday, he was being hassled by the other guys in the office. All day long I was hearing them tell him things like, "You are going to come back soul less and grumpy" or "It's not too late to back out". And while I realize that they were just joking around and having fun, I got extremely annoyed that they were focusing on the not always perfect parts of marriage rather than encouraging him and being excited about his new adventure! It's no secret that I think marriage is great and that I get irritated when any marriage bashing is going on. The truth is, when I asked each of these guys if they hated being married, they all started telling me how much they love being married and how much they love their wives. So why are we so quick to scare people with the negative aspects of marriage instead of getting them excited about the positive?

Marriage isn't easy! It's hard work and sometimes it's frustrating, but the pros of marriage definitely outweigh the cons in my opinion. Sometimes I read journal entries from when I was single and think, 'Man, a night completely to myself every week would be nice. I wish I had more time to read books, go for a run, give myself a pedicure and watch a chick flick. Instead I'm cleaning a house, making dinner, compromising on what to watch with my husband and sticking to a strict budget because we're trying to save money.' There are plenty of nights when I would love to sit on my couch doing nothing and not feel judged by my spouse because the apartment is messy, dinner didn't get made and I didn't put away my clean laundry. But no matter how appealing being single may sound to me sometimes, I would never trade my marriage to my husband in for anything!

Having a partner on this crazy journey called life is the best! I have someone to hold me accountable for the stupid decisions I make because he knows how contrary they might be to goals I have set and the person I am trying to be. If I don't have plans for the night, it's not a big deal anymore because I live with my best friend and we enjoy spending time together. Someone shares my dreams in life, is excited to plan for the future with me, and supports the things that I am trying to accomplish. My husband encourages me when something starts to feel impossible and he helps me see how amazing I am when I start to feel inferior in one of my roles. I have someone to love and someone loves me in return and I know that relationship is always going to be there. That feeling is just too happy to describe!

Today is Decide to be Married Day based on the beautiful poem below.

Decide to be Married

by Barbara Gaughen-Muller

Decide to be married

To become one heart, one body,

one mind and one soul

To share your joy

To live life as an art

And to make every moment precious

Whether together or apart

Remember as a couple

You are now more than one

To create harmony and perfect love

that will last through

eternity

even after this life is done

Remember also there is a power

In this union of two

to protect this planet

And humanity too

As a couple you can do it

It's in the deciding

To be united in love

To express your joyful oneness

To every person you meet, and

In every action you take

And together a perfect marriage you'll make

Why did you choose to get married? And how do you decide to be married every day?