A couple of months ago, I was explaining the concept of beta-marriages to a few of my coworkers. You may remember my very strongly worded post from a couple of years ago when I first heard about the term. It is not an idea that I think very highly of. After explaining the concept to the group, I said that I couldn't understand how that idea of marriage appeals to anyone. The response I got is something that, in the back of my mind, I knew to be true, but hearing the words said out loud was really painful. I was told that, "Most people go into marriage assuming it's not going to last." It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut when something that I feel strongly about is under attack, so without thinking, I shot back, "And I don't agree with that at all!" What was said next is the part that really affected me. "Yeah, but it's the trend nowadays."
When did expecting to get a divorce or getting a divorce become a "trend"? Has the dream of growing old together lost its charm? It breaks my heart to think that my generation, or really anyone, is accepting the idea that marriage is a decision that can be taken lightly. And that if it doesn't work out, you can just move on to husband/wife number two and it won't be a big deal because that's what you were expecting in the first place. Since when did striving for a relationship that lasts become the uncool thing to do?
If you go into a marriage assuming that it will be short term, are you really going to invest in it the way that you could and should? The idea that if your marriage doesn't work out, you can just try to do better with your next one is toxic! You are setting yourself up to fail! PLEASE decide now that you will do everything in your power to make your marriage last! Treasure that relationship and the love that you share. There will be struggles and hard times and some days it might seem like it would be easier to go your separate ways, but I promise that pushing through those challenges together will be worth it and you will be a stronger couple on the other side!
At the end of the day, if you can honestly say that you gave it your all and it just didn't work out, I understand. Divorce isn't something that I wish for anyone in life, but I know that sometimes it does have to happen. But please, don't go into marriage waiting for the other shoe to drop. Healthy, happy and long-lasting marriages, that's a trend that we should want to stick around forever!