Google+ A Prioritized Marriage: The Perks of Being Married to a Target Security Guard

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Perks of Being Married to a Target Security Guard

I'm really excited about this new series! I've had the idea for a while and the cute button that Bethany made for it for a while, but for whatever reason, I kept putting off starting it. But it's here now!!

Being married to Joe is always an adventure. I love so many things about him and some of those things that I love have to do with the things that he's chosen to pursue in life. This series will share some of those roles he plays and the ways they've benefited me as his wife!

The Handcuffs
Joe's job requires him to carry handcuffs, and because he's been a mobile employee, he always brings them home with him. I can't tell you how many funny moments we've had because of them. You'll usually find them sitting on a cupboard or table around the house when Joe isn't at work. I never think much of it until people come over. Without fail, even though everyone knows what Joe does for his job, people always point them out and awkwardly ask what they are for. Do they look pink and fuzzy to you? They're real, you can try them if you don't believe me. Just make sure Joe's around to unlock them before you do.

If he forgets to take them out of his pocket after work and we are out and about, they end up in my purse. One night I forgot to take them out when I got home, and still had them in my purse at church the next day. While I was teaching a group of teenage girls, I rummaged through my purse to find something, and pulled out the handcuffs instead. I promise I don't regularly carry handcuffs around.

The Knowledge
I know more about organized retail crime and the type of people who steal than I ever thought I would. Before I met Joe, I thought that the people who stole from stores were all dumb teenagers and that they took candy bars, lip gloss, and other stupid stuff just to prove that they could do it. I've since learned that there are people who steal for their job. They have a system, they steal really random things, and they don't necessarily hide those things on their person when they're stealing them.

I've learned that there is no stereotype to a thief, it can be just about anybody; age, race, gender, and economical background have no limits when it comes to stealing. I've learned that committing this crime doesn't always mean that you're taking merchandise from a store without paying for it. I've learned what behaviors security looks for in people and I try to avoid those so that nobody watches me shop on camera because that's just awkward. I've learned that when I'm shopping with my husband and he randomly disappears to start sneakily following someone suspicious, it's best to keep shopping and let him come find me because when I stand there and wait for him to come back, I get strange looks. I've learned that eating the food I plan to purchase while walking through the store is technically stealing.

And the most random, non security related lesson that I've learned is that the more people shop on Black Friday or late on a holiday night like Christmas Eve, the longer the store hours become on those days and the more time retail employees are forced to spend away from their families. It was annoying enough having to sleep by myself all night on Black Friday morning and hang out away from home while my husband slept all that next day our first year of marriage. Now he leaves family parties early on Thanksgiving and I take Christmas Eve dinner to eat with him in Food Ave. while he's on his lunch break because he has to work until the store closes late at night and the two or three people shopping decide to go home.

He wears a women's size medium in case anyone was wondering ;)

The Passion
Watching my husband work makes me love him so much more. There have been a few times when I've gone to meet him after work or he's found work while we're out shopping and I've gotten to observe how he does what he does. He has a talent for reading people, doing what needs to be done and quickly dealing with a situation so that it doesn't get out of hand. When he's in his element, he's having fun and you can tell that he really loves what he does.

The Convenience
This perk is purely selfish. Having a husband who works in a retail location every day is extremely convenient. On average, I probably call or text him three times a week with a list of things that I want him to bring home. And just as often, he calls to tell me about something that he found on clearance that we need to have or texts me the DPCI number for a product so I can look it up online and see if it's something that I'd like to have. The employee discount isn't bad either!

What are some of the perks of your husband's job?



  1. Haha! I love this! The leather jacket picture just cracks me up! :)

    Maybe Joe should come to our Target and catch the hooligans who have been stealing toddler boys 2T/3T underwear!! We bought Joshua some undies yesterday, and one package obviously had two pairs missing, so we got a discount on them, but when we got home we realized that someone had stolen a pair from the other package we got as well! Who the heck steals little boy undies?

  2. I'm kind of in the same situation. My husband works for the BYU bookstore. When we were engaged, he worked "loss prevention". Basically, he was an undercover security guard! Then, when we were married, he transferred over to the bookstore's IS department. He worked evenings, but luckily, I was able to bring dinner and eat with him in his office. He's also worked with the clothing department, so everyone in the bookstore knows him and me. If I need something, like chocolate, or other junk food, he brings it home from the bookstore. We also get cheap movies cuz as an employee, he gets 20% off. It'll be sad when he can't work there in 3 more weeks because he'll be graduated!

  3. I get annoyed with the holiday hours and my husband doesn't work retail. I think it's so wrong they we've become so consumeristic that stores hold sales on the holiday. My husband usually works holidays and that sucks. Zach knows how to fix computers, that's probably probably the biggest perk. Well that and he's able to work enough overtime that we can squeak by without me working. :)

  4. Pretty much! I understand that for some people, Black Friday shopping is a tradition, but it just doesn't seem like the same thing when you're out shopping at 8pm on Thanksgiving night. Isn't half the fun supposed to be that you stayed up all night to be there when the stores opened so bright and early in the morning?! ;) I've never been, so I guess I don't know. I do all of mine online from the comfort of my couch. It's frustrating though! Holidays are about tradition, not money and shopping!
    I'm glad Zach's job gives you that flexibility! And having someone that fixes computers is handy. We call my brother-in-law and he does all of this techy stuff I'd never know about!

  5. kara schwietermanJuly 29, 2014 at 6:07 PM

    Mine is a police officer... not many perks there, other than I always feel safe when hes home! He works crappy hours, and is always staying past the time he is supposed to get off! He is always stressed!! & never has a weekend off!

    I love this post! What a great idea!

  6. My husband's work hours end up being somewhat similar when something happens when it's not supposed to and yep, he always works weekends :P But I agree with you, feeling safe is a great thing!

  7. Katherine LacabeJuly 29, 2014 at 6:40 PM

    My husband works for a slot machine company... which would make you think it would make it easy for me to win at slots... but nope! It's all up to chance. Your husband's job sounds like way more fun!

  8. I'm sure your husband's job has its perks too Katherine!! :)

  9. This is hilarious. I can just imagine you pulling handcuffs out of your purse in church, haha.

  10. That is pretty nifty!!! And a very unique perk! Thanks for sharing Teresa! :)

  11. I love this. I never realized (and I still don't really realize, I'm sure) how much goes into retail security. I'm glad Joe enjoys it and is good at it!

  12. I love this! My fiancé works in electronics at our Target and the stories are very similar (minus the handcuffs - haha!). I definitely love the fact that he can pick up anything whenever because he's already there, and between his discount, cartwheel, and the target card we save lots. The stories about the bizarre customer interactions are fun to hear also. It makes his day when he gets to kick rowdy teenagers (his archrivals, he swears) out of the store.

  13. I can definitely relate!! :) It's got a lot of fun being married to a Target employee :)


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